Interviewing

This morning I went on a job interview. Now even though it was for a move within the same company I work for, I dressed up and practiced my answers in the mirror. I think when you go on a job interview you need to go and show that you want the job. Nothing says "I don't want this job" more than someone who can't interview or even look the part.

Being in management I have had to do several first, second and final interviews with people who "want" a job. Here are some of the most comical mistakes I have personally seen from my experiences. I am writing this in a "how to" format but really it is more to relate some of the oddness of people who want a job but do not know how to get one. Plus, I didn't have any great idea for a blog today.

1. Do NOT wear a hat, or ripped jeans and T-shirts. You may only be interviewing to be a cashier or night stocker, but nothing makes a first impression more than the clothes you wear. As an interviewer I will see you before I speak to you and without wanting to I will assess your appearance and start forming my opinion of you. I once interviewed a guy that came in for a first interview wear dirty jeans, a Tim McGraw T-shirt, an absolutely filthy ball cap and boots caked in mud. I don't expect you to dress in your Sunday go to meeting finest but come on...really? Wear clean clothes and as a rule I try to dress to a standard above what might be a step or two above what is required of the job I am interviewing for. Wearing jeans and a T-shirt may be acceptable once you have the job, but a polo and khakis say you care about about looking good and really want the job, a nice oxford and slacks with a pair of wingtips says even more but that's just me.

2. Bathe. This should be easy, but I once interviewed a man that smelled so bad I had to open the door halfway through the interview and excuse myself for a moment to "Take an urgent business call." If your BO is this bad, you HAVE to be able to smell yourself, please for the love of God invest in some soap and a hot shower. Not only did this guy's stink leave a lasting impression on me, it interrupted his interview and I failed to glean one good comment from any of his answers because all I could hope for was him to finish and get out of the tiny little office with me.

3. Do NOT smell like a perfume truck that just collided with a freight train of after shave. This kinda goes hand in hand with bathing but even clean people often make the mistake of dousing themselves with fragrance. It has the same effect as BO, stink is stink.

4. Speak Clearly and intelligently. Do not mumble, do not use words you do not know the meaning of and never EVER talk to your interviewer like they are your "homie". I had a lady in on her final interview that spoke so low that I had to ask her to repeat everything she said, in fact the only word I always understood her to say was "inconsequentially". As in, "At my last employer I was the only person trained to build databases and excel spreadsheets. Inconsequentially I became a valued asset to the team."

I have a friend who interviews for her firm often in Atlanta, she told a story once about a guy who came in for an accounting team manager position. He was dressed in a very professional suit, spoke clear and answered questions well. Unfortunately, towards the end of the interview he began to get comfortable and when asked how he would prove to be an asset to the firm he replied...

"Aww you know shawty I'd just be about it...y'know what I'm saying?"

guess what stuck in her mind most after the interview.

5. Act like you want the job. I don't mean be desperate, but nonchalance isn't going to impress anyone. A standard question in our first interview series is "How do you feel you will prove to be a valuable team member if hired to work here?" I have had some crazy answers to this one but my all time favorite reply was...

"Well, you know man, mainly I don't need this job. I just need something to hold it down until something better comes along. I mean I got a lot more going on than just wearing a little vest and watering plants."

W(hat)TF does that have to do with the question, W(hy)TF would you even say something like that in an interview and W(ho)TF does this guy think he is? I wear a little red vest all day long for my job, so does my boss, his boss and on up the chain till you get to the guys that run the company...and guess what they wear...and this guy was too good to wear one?

I assumed he was right, that he didn't need the job, and he didn't get it. Inconsequently, it sucks to be him...