Well, here we are.
It’s three A.M. and sleepless we stand here face to face, eye to eye again…simply staring. For as far back as I care to remember I could look into those eyes and see nothing but the love, true contentment and that sarcastic sparkle at the joy of the secrets of your own creation and the mysteries that were only for you to know. Most of all though I saw the one person I always cherished more than any other. Now as we meet again, I see how tired you are. You look at me and study me with the same scrutiny and I see the displeasure there. I look at you and I see the discontentment, the sadness and even resentment in your eyes.
How have you come to this?
How did I come to this?
If I look long enough I see the glimmer of who you were. My great dreams and desires reflecting back to me, even if they are slightly faded they are still there. I know there is no one else to blame for this loss, the love and revere that once lived in those eyes slipping to cold resentment. I did this to us. You know it; I can see it there in your eyes.
I miss you and would give anything to have you returned to me, the way you were. I want to be bold and tell you things will change, get better and this will be the year everything falls into place. Before I can even speak the words aloud to you I see the look on your face that says “don’t”. How many pep talks have I given you standing here? Hundreds, at least, and though I have pulled us through on so many of them I know I have let us down just as many times. You know this time is different though. That gleam of confidence is hidden behind all the frustration and doubt this time. I am shaken and not confident we are going to make it through this one, your face tells me you feel the same.
There are no tears, just sadness and reconciliation to another round of disappointment. We will do everything we can to make it through this mess together but as I reach up and smooth that crazy little strand of your hair that never sets right, I see the fear. Maybe this Valentine’s Day you need someone else to talk to because I can comfort you no more.
Maybe one day you’ll love me like you used to, more than anyone in the world and I’ll be your number one again. Tonight though I can offer you no comfort and you break my heart to look at.
So I turn off the lights… and walk away from the mirror.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
My first look (in a while) from the other side of the desk
OK, today I was given an "on the spot interview" at a local retailer that I had stopped in to follow up on an application with.
I brought in my resume and asked if it could be attached to the application. The guy I spoke to was evidently either THE manager or at least A manager because he asked if I could hang around for a few minutes so he could talk to me. I agreed and he gave me a seat in an office in the back, then I only had to wait about 5 minutes before he came back. Here is what happened next...
Interviewer: OK, is this the correct contact information here?
Me: Yes sir it is, I also have called and confirmed all the numbers for my former employers.
Interviewer: OK, you have some good experience here.
(pause)
Me: Thank you. Besides my most recent employment at ****'*, which matches to your company's retail environment here. I have experience with shipping/receiving, warehouse operations and with loss/damage prevention. All of which I believe would work well on the back end operations in your store here. I noticed that you have a warehouse type of storage area set up for your in stock parts that are organized and tracked by your computer system. That is very similar to the computer/RF system we used at **&*, which should help me make an easy transition in getting right on board with the program here.
Interviewer: Absolutely... OK, if your contact info on here is correct and we feel you're a good fit for us you'll probably be called back for another interview in a couple of days. Thanks for coming in.
I stood up, offered my hand and said "Thank you for your time and consideration." smiled, looked him in the eye as he shook my hand and then walked out the door.
That was it? Had I blown it by cutting into his long pause and trying to sell myself? Did I come across the wrong way by showing interest and awareness of the place I was asking to work in?
When I used to interview people I would generally pause when I wanted them to have the opportunity to add something to show me they wanted the job.
What do you guys think? My self esteem is in the toilet and I am unhappy with being unemployed more than I thought possible. Any help will be appreciated.
I brought in my resume and asked if it could be attached to the application. The guy I spoke to was evidently either THE manager or at least A manager because he asked if I could hang around for a few minutes so he could talk to me. I agreed and he gave me a seat in an office in the back, then I only had to wait about 5 minutes before he came back. Here is what happened next...
Interviewer: OK, is this the correct contact information here?
Me: Yes sir it is, I also have called and confirmed all the numbers for my former employers.
Interviewer: OK, you have some good experience here.
(pause)
Me: Thank you. Besides my most recent employment at ****'*, which matches to your company's retail environment here. I have experience with shipping/receiving, warehouse operations and with loss/damage prevention. All of which I believe would work well on the back end operations in your store here. I noticed that you have a warehouse type of storage area set up for your in stock parts that are organized and tracked by your computer system. That is very similar to the computer/RF system we used at **&*, which should help me make an easy transition in getting right on board with the program here.
Interviewer: Absolutely... OK, if your contact info on here is correct and we feel you're a good fit for us you'll probably be called back for another interview in a couple of days. Thanks for coming in.
I stood up, offered my hand and said "Thank you for your time and consideration." smiled, looked him in the eye as he shook my hand and then walked out the door.
That was it? Had I blown it by cutting into his long pause and trying to sell myself? Did I come across the wrong way by showing interest and awareness of the place I was asking to work in?
When I used to interview people I would generally pause when I wanted them to have the opportunity to add something to show me they wanted the job.
What do you guys think? My self esteem is in the toilet and I am unhappy with being unemployed more than I thought possible. Any help will be appreciated.
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