"She is a good friend and a warm box of awesome that I would love to find in my size. The chip at the bottom of the bag, all the flavor but you can never quite reach it."
Then I just threw my suit bag over my shoulder and walked away, I know how to make an exit.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving morning 2009
Ok first off there will be some pretty strong language in this note, so if you are easily offended or under the age of 18 STOP reading now.
I woke up in an excellent mood today, ready for a great holiday and glorious meal that will all but destroy my diet. Oh well, such is life and I am happy with life at the moment. While trying to decide if I really wanted to go up to Rose Hill and eat breakfast and reflect my brother, Joe, let me know we need a few things for meal prep still and asked if I was going out if I wouldn't mind picking them up. Of course I didn't mind, so off to the Kroger I went.
When I got to Kroger the parking lot was packed, as I expected it would be, but I was feeling chipper so i didn't let the crowd get to me and I headed on in. I needed aluminum foil, some sodas for our guests, tea for me and some dog food. Hell if I am eating good then the babies are eating good so I got them some treats too, I love me some Spike and Missy. Next i decided to grab some sweet rolls from the bakery for Joe, Sarah and I to munch on while preparing dinner today, those rolls looked absolutely delicious I couldn't wait to get them home.
Now, with all my goodies loaded up I head to the checkouts and as expected the lines are freaking packed. Fuggit, I am in no hurry so I pick one and wait my turn. Things were sailing right along and I patiently waited till the guy in front of me placed his stuff on the conveyor and put the little divider up and then I started placing my order up to be checked out next.
Ok, here is where it goes awry, those of you that know me know I have a FEW quirks...don't touch me needlessly and don't touch my food EVER. I also have a certain way I like to put my groceries on the line for checkout usually with breads, produce and soft products last so they are bagged last and don't get squished. That is not unreasonable, to my mind.
Anyway all my things loaded up, I place the divider behind my order for the guy behind me to start placing his groceries up. On the what I would guess is a 6 foot conveyor my groceries are taking up maybe 2 feet. Well, as the attractive young girl (with blue in her hair, God I love blue hair) starts ringing in my order I look back and the asscrack mother of trash behind me is picking through my shit and piling it all up so he can make more room for his stuff.
Yeah, I didn't take it well and MAYBE just maybe I overreacted but here is how it went down from there.
"Excuse me, would you mind not handling my shit? I really don't want flattened sweet rolls because you need to cram your fruit loops on the line." I said in what might have possibly been a hostile tone.
"Huh?" The moron asked. I should point out now that I was in full Bama regalia(hoodie and hat) and the dog licking bitch boy was wearing UGA gear...this couldn't have went well.
"My fucking food, in your filthy mitts, could you please stop touching it. I don't really want you piling shit on top of my sweet rolls, because I, in fact, want sweet ROLLS not fucking pancakes." I somewhat perturbedly stated.
"Man, you got a potty mouth, chill out" I was informed by the mental giant.
"Really? I am about to have a potty-fucking-fist when I shove it through your shit-fucking head. Now, de-paw my motherfucking sweet rolls asshat." I advised in a less than cordial tone.
At this point he set my stuff down and shut up, and refused to make further eye contact, and the blue haired cashier who had never even batted an eye had just kept on ringing my order and simply smiled and asked how I was doing.
"I am doing great, how are you?" I replied completely calm as if nothing strange was going on.
I was still steamed but I wanted this asshat behind me to think I'd drop him and walk away without ever thinking about him again, so nonchalance was key here. I finished my transaction, place my bags back into my cart and told the cashier to have a happy Thanksgiving. I then turned to numbnuts behind me and said "Roll Tide Motherfucker" and walked out the door, smiling.
I was still so ill, I had forgotten why I bought sweet rolls and stopped in the Sonic drive in on the way home and bought us all breakfast. Oh well, those rolls will be awesome tomorrow morning I guess.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
I woke up in an excellent mood today, ready for a great holiday and glorious meal that will all but destroy my diet. Oh well, such is life and I am happy with life at the moment. While trying to decide if I really wanted to go up to Rose Hill and eat breakfast and reflect my brother, Joe, let me know we need a few things for meal prep still and asked if I was going out if I wouldn't mind picking them up. Of course I didn't mind, so off to the Kroger I went.
When I got to Kroger the parking lot was packed, as I expected it would be, but I was feeling chipper so i didn't let the crowd get to me and I headed on in. I needed aluminum foil, some sodas for our guests, tea for me and some dog food. Hell if I am eating good then the babies are eating good so I got them some treats too, I love me some Spike and Missy. Next i decided to grab some sweet rolls from the bakery for Joe, Sarah and I to munch on while preparing dinner today, those rolls looked absolutely delicious I couldn't wait to get them home.
Now, with all my goodies loaded up I head to the checkouts and as expected the lines are freaking packed. Fuggit, I am in no hurry so I pick one and wait my turn. Things were sailing right along and I patiently waited till the guy in front of me placed his stuff on the conveyor and put the little divider up and then I started placing my order up to be checked out next.
Ok, here is where it goes awry, those of you that know me know I have a FEW quirks...don't touch me needlessly and don't touch my food EVER. I also have a certain way I like to put my groceries on the line for checkout usually with breads, produce and soft products last so they are bagged last and don't get squished. That is not unreasonable, to my mind.
Anyway all my things loaded up, I place the divider behind my order for the guy behind me to start placing his groceries up. On the what I would guess is a 6 foot conveyor my groceries are taking up maybe 2 feet. Well, as the attractive young girl (with blue in her hair, God I love blue hair) starts ringing in my order I look back and the asscrack mother of trash behind me is picking through my shit and piling it all up so he can make more room for his stuff.
Yeah, I didn't take it well and MAYBE just maybe I overreacted but here is how it went down from there.
"Excuse me, would you mind not handling my shit? I really don't want flattened sweet rolls because you need to cram your fruit loops on the line." I said in what might have possibly been a hostile tone.
"Huh?" The moron asked. I should point out now that I was in full Bama regalia(hoodie and hat) and the dog licking bitch boy was wearing UGA gear...this couldn't have went well.
"My fucking food, in your filthy mitts, could you please stop touching it. I don't really want you piling shit on top of my sweet rolls, because I, in fact, want sweet ROLLS not fucking pancakes." I somewhat perturbedly stated.
"Man, you got a potty mouth, chill out" I was informed by the mental giant.
"Really? I am about to have a potty-fucking-fist when I shove it through your shit-fucking head. Now, de-paw my motherfucking sweet rolls asshat." I advised in a less than cordial tone.
At this point he set my stuff down and shut up, and refused to make further eye contact, and the blue haired cashier who had never even batted an eye had just kept on ringing my order and simply smiled and asked how I was doing.
"I am doing great, how are you?" I replied completely calm as if nothing strange was going on.
I was still steamed but I wanted this asshat behind me to think I'd drop him and walk away without ever thinking about him again, so nonchalance was key here. I finished my transaction, place my bags back into my cart and told the cashier to have a happy Thanksgiving. I then turned to numbnuts behind me and said "Roll Tide Motherfucker" and walked out the door, smiling.
I was still so ill, I had forgotten why I bought sweet rolls and stopped in the Sonic drive in on the way home and bought us all breakfast. Oh well, those rolls will be awesome tomorrow morning I guess.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
In my head
Have you ever woke up with a song in your head? I mean out of nowhere, fresh from dreamland you wake up with a song in your head. It wasn't playing on the radio, wasn't the last song you heard before bed, but you wake up and it is there word for word and the melody repeating in your thoughts. That happened to me this morning with the song "A Long December" by Counting Crows.
Now let me defend my musical tastes, just in case you have something against Counting Crows. I love music in general, all of it. If you were to shuffle my iPod right now you are going to have upwards of 9k songs to pick from. The selection has a ton of Old Punk like The Ramones, Black Flag, Minor Threat and Fugazi. New(er) Punk like The Distillers, Rancid, Greenday and Blink 182. I have damn near every song Garth Brooks and George Strait have done plus some other country here and there. Rock legends like Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, Creedence Clearwater Revival and The Who. Pop songs from Justin Timberlake, Jordan Knight and Pink. Hair Gods Poison's greatest hits, selected works from White Lion and Guns-n-Roses. Great Rock that to me defies categorization Dinosaur Jr., Social Distortion and Cake. And of course the work of The Goddess herself Tori Amos and the massively talented Sara Bareilles. My favorite band ever The Cure, greatest rap group ever Outkast, 90's Grunge, 80's Hair, Classical, Spoken Word, etc... etc... etc... ad nauseam.
The point is I LOVE music and have a huge sampling to choose from that it makes it interesting to me that one song that I can not remember the last time I heard was randomly stuck in my head this morning. I think maybe my Inner Jeffrey, my subconscious, is speaking to me.
I am sitting as I type this blog and listening to the song and breaking down the lyrics to see what hidden meaning my subconscious is secretly sending me messages with. Here is what I have chosen to hear.
"And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass "
What I took from that verse is not to over think things, enjoy them as they happen, savor them for what they are (not what they could or couldn't be). Hope springs eternal, don't deny it, embrace it, nurture it and appreciate the opportunity as it happens or you'll regret it when its gone. The cold hard past will best serve you staying there (in the past) and the warmth of something new is always just around the corner. Live life like I always had, in the moment and without fear or failures and risks.
But that's just my take on it. Maybe Inner Jeffrey just thinks I'll need to wear a hoodie today, it might be a little chilly.
Now let me defend my musical tastes, just in case you have something against Counting Crows. I love music in general, all of it. If you were to shuffle my iPod right now you are going to have upwards of 9k songs to pick from. The selection has a ton of Old Punk like The Ramones, Black Flag, Minor Threat and Fugazi. New(er) Punk like The Distillers, Rancid, Greenday and Blink 182. I have damn near every song Garth Brooks and George Strait have done plus some other country here and there. Rock legends like Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, Creedence Clearwater Revival and The Who. Pop songs from Justin Timberlake, Jordan Knight and Pink. Hair Gods Poison's greatest hits, selected works from White Lion and Guns-n-Roses. Great Rock that to me defies categorization Dinosaur Jr., Social Distortion and Cake. And of course the work of The Goddess herself Tori Amos and the massively talented Sara Bareilles. My favorite band ever The Cure, greatest rap group ever Outkast, 90's Grunge, 80's Hair, Classical, Spoken Word, etc... etc... etc... ad nauseam.
The point is I LOVE music and have a huge sampling to choose from that it makes it interesting to me that one song that I can not remember the last time I heard was randomly stuck in my head this morning. I think maybe my Inner Jeffrey, my subconscious, is speaking to me.
I am sitting as I type this blog and listening to the song and breaking down the lyrics to see what hidden meaning my subconscious is secretly sending me messages with. Here is what I have chosen to hear.
"And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass "
What I took from that verse is not to over think things, enjoy them as they happen, savor them for what they are (not what they could or couldn't be). Hope springs eternal, don't deny it, embrace it, nurture it and appreciate the opportunity as it happens or you'll regret it when its gone. The cold hard past will best serve you staying there (in the past) and the warmth of something new is always just around the corner. Live life like I always had, in the moment and without fear or failures and risks.
But that's just my take on it. Maybe Inner Jeffrey just thinks I'll need to wear a hoodie today, it might be a little chilly.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Home
I need to blog something because its been a day or two, and to be honest I have a lot going on in my mind. Things I have to sort through, things that seem wicked awesome and too good to be happening to me and the normal my mind is walking in the wilderness again stuff. i will sort some of that stuff out but let me throw out a quick blog on my return to work at my old store to satisfy my need to blog. Hope it holds you over till I get something better from between my ears.
Today was my first day back at work at my old store, I returned to many people smiling and being really happy to see me again. I have to be honest it surprised me.
I have a lot of people I really like there and even a couple that I call friends, but it was the other people that really shocked me. People I hadn't considered would have a positive opinion of my return that were smiling and shaking my hand, people that came from the other end of the building just because they heard I was back. I had one guy that I have know since my first stint with Lowe's that even grabbed me and hugged me. I am totally not a touchy person, but I even let that slide. I mean how can you let your phobias and hang ups interrupt someone who is that happy to see you?
I guess the main source of my surprise is that while at work, I am really an ass. I don't mean in my normal sarcastic, dry and somewhat dark humor kind of way either. I am the guy that knows the best way to get a job done and will take over any situation to get it done right. I lead by example and will call anyone out on their bullshit. I am pro company all the way, when people start bad mouthing my company I defend it. Not blindly, but I work for a great company that does treat it's employees very well.
Finally, I am the kind of person to say what is on my mind. Like it or lump it you rarely have to guess what is on my mind. Just ask, I'll tell you.
I have found a lot of people will dislike you for that, today I found out just as many will forgive it and even appreciate it, given time and absence.
I found out that you really can go home, and that there is really no place like home.
Today was my first day back at work at my old store, I returned to many people smiling and being really happy to see me again. I have to be honest it surprised me.
I have a lot of people I really like there and even a couple that I call friends, but it was the other people that really shocked me. People I hadn't considered would have a positive opinion of my return that were smiling and shaking my hand, people that came from the other end of the building just because they heard I was back. I had one guy that I have know since my first stint with Lowe's that even grabbed me and hugged me. I am totally not a touchy person, but I even let that slide. I mean how can you let your phobias and hang ups interrupt someone who is that happy to see you?
I guess the main source of my surprise is that while at work, I am really an ass. I don't mean in my normal sarcastic, dry and somewhat dark humor kind of way either. I am the guy that knows the best way to get a job done and will take over any situation to get it done right. I lead by example and will call anyone out on their bullshit. I am pro company all the way, when people start bad mouthing my company I defend it. Not blindly, but I work for a great company that does treat it's employees very well.
Finally, I am the kind of person to say what is on my mind. Like it or lump it you rarely have to guess what is on my mind. Just ask, I'll tell you.
I have found a lot of people will dislike you for that, today I found out just as many will forgive it and even appreciate it, given time and absence.
I found out that you really can go home, and that there is really no place like home.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)