The Center

Truth be told, I am a bit of an attention whore. I love to be at the center of a group, amusing people or sometimes just pissing them off. I do it for the joy it gives me in being the warm center of the universe at any given time. So, now that I have admitted to that openly let me tell you that I hate people like me or at least make the vain attempt to be. There is only room at the center of the universe for me, get back in orbit and wait to be entertained.

However if people are going to continue to try to garner my attention for themselves here a few very critical critiques that I will give you:

NOT EVERY SITUATION CALLS FOR YOU TO PUT ON A SHOW!

Case in point, when ordering at the drive-thru at McDonald's at 1pm on a Monday. More specifically while in a mini-van (that has a non-working driver's side window) full of screaming children who all want chicken nuggets and ice cream.

If you do not know what condiments come on a McChicken and that cheese costs extra you really should consider going in to order, the drive-thru window should always be for speed and convenience especially at lunch time.

Also there is no need to assure the order taker that you "wants chickens fresh outda grease", that is what we all wants, enjoy your spit flavored sandwich.

After you've painstakingly ordered your $1 chicken sandwich, small fries and sweet tea(no ice) and repeated yourself thrice over the yells of your children ("mama I want nuggets and ice cream MAMA!") you have probably realized that the children's order should have been placed first. Once kids know they have food on the way they tend to calm down and make the whole ordering easier for all parties involved. Even the 5 cars now lined up behind you know what your kids want.

Once you have paid and pulled up, been handed your food it is ok to check your bags and make sure all items are present. However if the temperature of your $1 sandwich leads you to believe that "dis ain't no fresh chickens." instead of hopping out of you already opened van door for the world to see your housecoat and slippers, just go inside and let them know "I wants it fresh outda grease". I mean, surely your attire isn't what stopped you from going inside to start with since you are now standing at the window screaming at the girl inside. Pride and dignity definitely aren't the issue.

Sometimes it is ok to just go in and order.

That is what the warm center of the universe did when he got out of line behind you, parked, went in and ordered 2 McDoubles (instead of 2 McChickens because he didn't want a phlegm covered swap to occur with your sandwich) and has now walked back out past your van and called you a "Fucking moron" loud enough for you, the McDonald's girl and your kids to hear because all any of you could do was stare and not know what to say as he got back in his car and pulled away quietly.

Center reclaimed.